I saw/received/ had the idea for this drawing last week and sketched it out in the margin of some notes I was taking. I originally saw a bat in the central spot where the face is now. An upside down bat, like a gargoyle – I was thinking Gothic Cathedral, Notre Dame style gargoyles.
And now…a presence. This Presence. Oh my.
Certainly she’s been called a bat, a crone, a hag, an old lady. Probably worse. Most definitely worse.
All I know is that from where I sit, those word concepts do not jive with this Lady. This is fierce Mother Love. A uncompromising Love for Our Planet and Every Thing that dwells there upon. All encompassing. All devouring. All embracing. The prevailing wind.
That’s what this place, this cathedral forest seeks. Lovers of change, of motion, of life in the tumultuous moment. Those still centers that can witness Life in its endless cycling; unafraid.
I’ve finished two more forests and will post them soon-ish. These Forests are meditations, I think. Guides coming through? Hands/help reaching/piercing the veil. There are better metaphors maybe, but these work for now. For me, this drawing feels/confirms that I/we are not alone. And today, that is a very kind and welcome thought.
A mandala for you to color- attending to the life sustaining connection we hold with the land we live on. This coloring page was inspired by the Art of the Land show that I was in this past weekend. Art of the Land is a local art show, a fundraiser for The Land Conservancy of McHenry County.
My recent drawings have explored trees and forests and the deep mysterious and healing space that exists in these mind forests of mine. I haven’t lost my adoration for mandalas either, and I suppose, that is why this particular tree picture is circular. It also becomes a meditation when drawn in a sacred container – as you color, you can attend to your emotions, the colors you choose, the music you color along to…branches and neurons swiftly flow together and create a space of solitude that can hold everyrhing at once. I’m a firm believer that the practice of ‘doing’ art heals us in many ways… download and enjoy!
So far, no one or thing is showing up in this forest. I see more architectural movements- like openings that are more-than-tree. And always the white tree, the white light, and a beckoning. But a hesitation, too. I feel like I’m standing just a bit beyond this particular place. I feel myself stopping and really sensing out what’s around me. Im actually feel my body paying attention. I can feel/smell the air here, and I sense green, mossy, wet. The other Forests felt more arid. How weird is this? The experiencing of it?
Yet, the more you practice, the more you listen, the more whatever is moving around in the ethers, senses your devotion to your practice, and settles in again for the longhaul.
Art takes time. SO much time. It takes time to retrain your senses, time to build strong and sustaining relationships between head, heart, and hands. It takes time to replace those old voices with new perceptions, hard won with the grief of actually letting go of people, places, things, and the notion of who you thought you were. It takes time to catch your breath. Reassure oneself that whatever lies ahead is essentially ‘just‘ your life. So journal, write, sing, draw, create – whatever self expression brings you to life. I imagine that Life Itself desires to be fully lived, fully expressed by Humans, who are crazy good at: create, express, make new magic for the world; repeat.
It’s really not about The Work, it’s about forging a life-sustaining relationship between your essential radiance and the world around you.
The magic will happen. The unicorn will appear. But first, making an opening for The Practice of becoming yourself kinda makes sense.
Latest in my Exploration of those Deep interior spaces that sustain my practice. Does Gaia dream? I think she does. In fact, I am convinced. She does. And we are her dream- contained in her wildest places, our own deeply enchanting interior landscapes – – as full of wanderings, adventure, love, leavings and comings home as they ever were… And hey! This will be available as a limited edition print along with the other Forests in this series.
a splendid venuecool toolsthe work at hand elegant set and settingpretty colors…shared experiences smilesmore smiles
So paint and sip…
A demo is done on a huge easel in front of the group- the whole process is led, step by step- and an example of finished Art Work is on display to the group as well. All the tools you need are on the table in front of you. Name tags get you on a First Name Basis… with the whole room pretty much. 🤣
(So, You come in, sit down, chill, order a 🍷glass of something, get to know the peeps around you, listen to the 🎵 live music, settle in. The venue helps:🐍Lou’s Lounge -after Eliza ‘Lou’ Ringling – snake-charming Ringling Sister to 🎪Ringling Brothers. The Ringlings are entagled with this place; The Dole – a historic mansion in Crystal Lake.
The idea: a bit of Surrender upfront to the process/flow of creating an art work. Something unknown and as yet unrealized by you. You see an end result – but yours may or may not come out like it. Certainly not exactly like it. There is room for experimenting, augmenting, and making different choices.
The Follow Along orients you nicely to the work at hand, and also opens up a group flow, a group dynamic, and a level of connection with The Room.
After enough time, determined by you, the artist, you will Get the Hang of It = some confidence in your hand and the tools it holds. You /It becomes rhythmic, understandable, and now, you begin to add your own embellishments, touches, wonderings.
Tonight is not about practice, but execution; the making of some thing….encompassing a jazz band, friends old and new, lively chatter, and *doing* something creative, some thing tangible, using your hands, your body, all your senses -surrounded by others sharing the same experience.
🔥That’s the magic for me. It’s not often we express ourselves creatively in large groups together. Yet this is a very human, very ancient, very nurturing experience to have.
So yes, ‘Paint and Sip’… but really so much more, so much more potential to be had with this model. So much good can be done by creating together for ‘fun’. For Joy.
It’s who we are. We were made to create- and doing it together is a luxury.
late 14c., curacioun, “curing of disease, restoration to health,” from Old French curacion “treatment of illness,” from Latin curationem, “a taking care, attention, management,”
I happened across Bruce Liptons’ video on healing yesterday, and he’s made me wonder about the ultimate flexibility of my emotional attachments to my early behavioral patterns and beliefs. The very elements and images that compose the stories I whisper to myself.
It’s made me play around more deeply with the concept that my internal narration story is not all mine, never could have been all mine… and better yet, how I might be able to actually use this intel to reset my narrative to one that’s far kinder for me personally and for the world at large.
I tend to entertain the idea that my personal narrative expresses as “who-i-am-what-surrounds-me”.
Or, my self/world is a reflection. A very reciprocal arrangement.
In this sense, I’m already years deep into an effort to create a story that suits this “grown-up” (debatable) me, reflects how I feel now, with my adult size intellect, body, and emotions- all aligned in a healthy relationship.
So back to Bruce.
IF we are influenced by our mothers’ emotional state in utero, if she’s afraid or jubilant – or anywhere in between – she shares the chemical signature of that emotion with us through our shared blood. We learn the chemical signature of the emotion. According to Bruce, our brain is in a receptive theta brain wave state until the ripe old age of age 7. In utero and out, we simply absorb, without thinking, emotional feeling states and patterns of behavior. Little sponges.
As kids, we repeat what we are exposed to, so voila – here are my habits laid out before me. I suspect these habits are all nicely aligned with my beliefs at levels seen and unseen…and I can change them.
I add to all this intrigue Michael Egnors‘ observation on ‘free won’t’-
‘…it isn’t so much that you have free will but you have free won’t. That is, you have the ability to decide whether or not you are going to comply with what your brain is urging you to do.‘
So I wonder:
1) IF I am able to decide NOT to act on a brain urge (one of my ‘subconscious’ impulses) for example, a pattern/habit that I have inherited; let’s say fruitless worrying- it seems that by
2) noticing the urge/pattern as it arises and changing my behavior in response,
I would begin to effectively change/disrupt the ‘set’ habitual story/pattern I que up unconsciously and thus create a new experience for myself/world.
So my real-life experiment looks like this: I catch myself in my habitual act of fruitless worrying and consciously decide to NOT run this pattern/narrative, choosing to tend to a *new* non-conditioned version of myself. I stop and curate my experience with these questions:
What am I intending? Where am I directing my thoughts? Past? Present? Future? Here or There?
What vibe am I emitting? What is my chemical signature? More toward fear or love? Open or Closed?
I reason that if I can get clarity on my thoughts and emotions, I can choose a new pattern of behavior that will with practice, become the new me.
Re-writing my programming. Telling a new story. Forming new habits…
-and the kicker is I have no exactly no idea how this change will reflect back to me except in kind- if I am open and present, I will be pleasantly surprised.
If I’m closed and not present, it will be a different story altogether.
A little project of mine since forever. In the cycle of the moon, it is the First Quarter Moon. half light half dark Balanced Poised… a choice point. Tomorrow, I will walk out into my world under a Gibbous Moon, ideally, with a sense of wonder, delight, desire and adventure. The word commitment is often paired with the1st Quarter Moon and for me it’s becoming a conscious commitment to the practice of ‘getting my heart in the right place’ – opening up and out to the World.
I’m making a deal with myself today, that I will try to pull back on my knee-jerk fears when they come up, and exchange fear for blessing- seeing what is in front of me, the situation, the person, the thing, each event, as it IS. I bless what is; unconditionally. In theory, this attention will help attend to my shadow, in the moment, as it presents itself. My shadow side doesn’t respond well to the bright light of day, analysis or reason. I’m practicing this unconditional self love, figuring that this too is a skill that can be learned. So, the practice. Swap fear for love. And the deal is, it’s just for a lunar week. And, the picture is Telephoros. An important symbol for this half and half day. He’s Part of my Anam Cara picture- from ages ago. He’s speaking to me again, bringing a soft glow to all the hidden bits. Link to my post about telephoros: https://janetbalboa.com/2014/09/11/dwarfs-illumination-and-knowing-that-everything-matters/
Work in progress… Expression. Say 1) you’re open hearted, ready, in a ‘place’ or state of being where you feel so ready to give- but not sure exactly what to give… or conversely, 2) you have an idea of what you must do, but waver on exactly how to go about doing it…
heart open -OR- head full of ideas
Either way, Expression is THE answer; the movement that initiates a new beginning for either of these modern stalemate positions.
…….and this is exactly the post modern, blockage point- our Voice. Our own individual expression. Our song. Our contribution to the expansion of humanity.
It’s also our voice, with a small ‘v’. We’re so tethered by the words we say to ourselves, the words in our heads.
Our hearts and minds are ready…
It’s our own inner voices that need our attention, our kindness, our compassionate listening: ‘Sit still and be quiet. Who told you you could do that? Put that down. Who do you think you are?’
Replacing these old voices with updated expressions that better serve -who I am now- reseeds the ready compost of the past.
Start with the small voices. Kindness here initiates the eventual blooming of the metaphorical blue lotus of self expression, located precisely at your throat chakra- the meeting ground of heart and head.
The only way I have found to get myself unfreaked about the future, is to have a hand in its creation. I know I can’t control for the future, I know overthinking is going to kill me. I know worrying is not the answer. So I have practices. I practice meditating every day. I sleep better. I process this crazy world better. It tips me away from all the fear – allowing me to find solutions instead of invent problems. I practice for an open mind. I exercise to stay flexible and feel good in my skin. I practice for a future where flexibility and strength might be needed. Then there is my third type of practice; I intentionally set the stage for my craft. I make my art every day, practicing for the days when it doesn’t come easy, when I feel like giving up or getting a ‘real’ job. My practices hold space for the reception of my future. It’s in the small, often uncomfortable moments of practice that I meet myself, that I can say with some clarity ‘This is what makes me tick, this is what I’m made of, who I am’ So when the future waltzes in, it may be completely unknown, but I, in myself, am able to greet it with presence and anticipation. The future, like everything else, deserves to be greeted with wonder and curiosity.
Hello. I hope this finds you well. This is an unusual time and place to be, and I am grateful we can share this virtual space and create a community together. Thanks technology, thanks open- hearted humans!
In my 100 mandala’s journey, and I’m on #10…I’m discovering that my artwork has become a tool for me, an actual practice in the same way as meditation.
As my consciousness is shifting and I’m deep diving in my hour+ a day meditation, I’m able to regard my work in a very different light.
I see it very much as coming thru me, not in a woo woo way, although that’s not a wrong way to describe it- a better way might be the feeling that the whole design is complete and my job is to fill it in as best I can. Which makes sense intellectually, idk- I’ve never conceived of it in this way.
The difference is in my approach. Now, when I sit down it’s as if I’m meeting up with something. Not *just* sitting down to draw. I carefully now arrange my tools, give myself enough time and space, clear my mind…and wait.
I also sense a shift in my understanding of intention setting- the intention creates a net, a filter maybe- a vibration? A field of sorts – but I FEEL it now as a resonance that I am IN when I am drawing. Very whole/holy space.
So this is what Joseph Campbell meant when he says it’s imperative that we each cultivate a sacred space…
Its real. I can feel it. So wow. It’s such a subtle thing. And I guess my point is; this works. When you are consciously paying attention to yourself, holding loving space, something beautiful begins to stir. And it IS magic!!! Much love to you beautiful souls today!!
Creative Arts is really a special place. And it’s not just for kids.
here’s a promo piece featuring some of our adult artists! more to come…
Susan, our Fearless Director has kept our ship afloat and leakproof during the pandemic. Now that people are re-emerging, we’re putting together a fabulous Art Event, partnering with The Dole to host over 140 individual artworks from our youth and adult classes. We have the great sound of Bourbon Country Music, a cash bar, and the beautiful old mansion itself.
janet balboa 
