Stewards of the Coast and Redwoods – Summer Experience 2022
Auction Ends: Jul 21, 2022 10:00 PM PDT

Collectibles

A sad, dysfunctional family of bears.

Item Number
161
Estimated Value
30 USD
Sold
10 USD to btfsplk
Number of Bids
1  -  Bid History

Item Description

Meet Sugar MawMa (center), and her unwed, jobless children: 50 year old son, Ted (right) and her 47 year old daughter (left), Big Jess.

Sugar spends her afternoons bribing older alcoholic bears with liquor and cigarettes, and then proceeds to complain to them about the price of gasoline; her womanizing ex husband she hasn't seen in 12 years; and her lazy children.  In her spare time, Sugar enjoys cooking, doing laundry, and cleaning for Ted and Big Jess.  

Ted lives in his mother's basement.  He only eats hot dogs (plain, no bun) and drinks Buckhorn Beer.  He plays video games seven days a week.  Ted has had to wear a sweater to remind him of his name, after he was attacked by a swarm of bees when he threw rocks at their hive.

Big Jess refuses to wear anything except a big red bow around her neck, claiming she is fighting for the right to walk through a forest "free" (aka clothing optional). Big Jess likes spending her afternoons shooting bb's at hummingbirds and empty bottles of homemade honey beer.  Big Jess also enjoys cruising online dating sites, and is currently searching for a husband with similar interest.

Her favorite food is Hot Cheetos.

*Note: The writing above is fiction, and does not represent the actual lives of these BOYDS BEARS, or any other BOYDS BEARS.

https://theboydsbearsstore.com/

 

Item Special Note

Sales tax will be applied.

This item can be mailed to you, you can pick it up (at the Stewards office), or we can deliver it to you (in Sonoma County only).  Winner may select method at the close of the auction. Regular mailing costs or a $20 delivery fee will be charged.

If the item is not picked up by August 14, 2022, it will be mailed to the address provided, and shipping costs will be charged.  If no address has been provided, the sale will be void within 30 days of the auction's closing, the winner may treat their bid as a tax-deductible donation to Stewards, and the item will be resold at a future auction.